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The Cries of Many
Regrets 
12th-Oct-2009 01:53 am
Title: Regrets
Author: cherriesandice
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho
Genre: Angst
Rating: G
Length: one shot

Disclaimer: I do not own, in any way, the hot boys of DongBangShinKi more specifically the characters n this story. Only the plot is mine.

    "Moving on isn't a bad thing, its the acceptance of change in different levels." Changmin bluntly said it in an interview one day. You should've seen Jaejoong's face when he heard the maknae's opinion. His aura turned from bright blinding luminescence to pitch-black night sky.

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    Never did Jaejoong think things would go far as letting Yunho wait for almost 3 years after their break-up. He honestly didn't mean to, it was Yunho's choice to wait even when Jaejoong already told him to move on without him. He admits he still loves the leader but he can't continue their relationship with reasons only they know.

    All of Jaejoong's uncertainties defined to himself how willing Yunho is to wait til he makes up his mind. Yet it made the other feel that he can't and won't  take risks for them.

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    When the time finally came that Yunho grew tired of waiting, he accepted the fact that he wasn't sure if something good was coming despite all his efforts. Letting go of a hopeless no-longer-requitted love as he thinks so, he felt an unfamiliar sensation cover his heart. Maybe invulnerability, maybe some metaphoric reset button's been pushed and now brand new perspective opened to him.

    Yunho won't admit it, but there were times when Jaejoong still lingered in his mind... What if he gave up just when Jaejoong has decided? What if he let go just when Jaejoong was ready to put the pieces back together? What if everything took a 360 degree turn and Jaejoong asked to get back together, would he accept or refuse? He wanted to settle everything once and for all but he didn't know how or if he still needed to.

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    Yunho's decision sucked the life out of Jaejoong without him knowing it. After being numbed by a heartbreak he initiated himself, it was the first time he felt that stinging pain in his heart, ripping his soul slowly out of his body as realizations crawled into his system. I lost him. I'm all alone now. It sank in after some moments.

    Regrets planted on and grew to be numerous veins and layers like vineyards of bittersweetness. His sanity is hung by a thread and he's back to square one --I'm still in love with the person I should protect from myself.

    Complications my ass, it could've been a lot better if we battled this out against the odds. We might still get hurt but at least we tried and fought. I could've been strong for us but I let my emotions get the better of me. Jaejoong finally understood what Yunho had been trying to instill in his mind but he guessed it might be too late now.

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    This time its Jaejoong's turn to prove, think and decide.  Would he just let Yunho go for good, after everything the man has done for him in all those times? Or will he find a way to get him back and give him what he deserves?
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